Craig is a musician and artist living in Greenville, SC.

When he’s not guzzling coffee or grinding beans with his teeth and snorting the fines, Craig claims to be a working musician and artist. A graduate of Yale School of Music*, his interest in creating things and discussing things really began to bloom in New Haven with multiple daily visits to Willoughby’s** and Koffee. Craig now teaches at a university and performs with orchestras, brass ensembles, and jazz bands. With an eye for portraiture (and a lineal link, to boot***), he paints and draws portraits. Also a singer-songwriter, one, if so inclined or held against their will, can listen to his musical meanderings on Spotify, Apple Music, and other streaming rackets****. His newly released acoustic album Entropy in Six Dimensions has been hailed as “the most pretentious sketch of an album in decades.” Another bewildered critic said, “I mean, is it a demo or a cry for help?!”

In his spare time, Craig likes to prepare, cook, and talk quite a lot about pizza—inspired by his visits to Pepe’s and Sally’s in New Haven while at Yale*****. And there’s also his smash burgers, for which he bakes the buns and pickles the pickles, and about which he will talk quite a lot as well, yet rarely makes because of the mess, both of the kitchen and his arteries.

He is married to the incomparable and eternally patient Anneka Zuehlke.

(At this point Craig is famished and must conclude whatever it is that has been going on.)

*Not that anyone asked; not that asking is needed to mention this in every conversation and at least twice in a bio.

**We miss you, Shakespeare Lady. Your Ophelia was the best we’d ever seen.

***Somewhere along his father’s ancestral line is Winthrop Sargent, uncle of John Singer Sargent. A stretch perhaps, but a detail Craig is sure to bring up if one can bear to talk to him for more than 10 minutes.

****Which pay roughly $.005 per stream. Per stream! Half a penny! And we wonder why 99% of artists can’t sustain themselves through their music. Exploitation at its finest.

*****And there it is. This mention more forced than the first. I mean, it’s the School of Music—not quite the College, is it.

PHOTO: In this image, it is believed that Craig is either leaving the TARDIS and waiting on The Doctor, or Craig is The Doctor and is second-guessing his choice of footwear. Some suspect, however, that perhaps the photo has been faked and Craig has never even seen the TARDIS or, even, tied a tie.